its been a while, i guess i just need to put this somewhere

i feel like i did all i could, and then i look at this list and think that maybe i just didn't do enough, and i regret it everyday.

why didn''t i try to do more?!!!

Tell her you think shes cool.
Tell her why you think shes so cool.
Smell her hair.
Talk to her in movie theatres.
Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river: she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she’ll love it.
Hold her hand and skip.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Pick flowers from other peoples gardens and give them to her.
Tell her she's pretty.
Let her pay if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends as the coolest girl you know.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
JUST TALK TO HER.
Take her to the library
TAKE HER ANYWHERE.
Tell her dirty jokes.
TELL HER HAPPY STORIES.
TELL HER SAD STORIES.
TELL HER YOUR STORIES.
TELL HER ANYTHING
Tell her stupid jokes.
Write poems about her.
Just walk with her.
Throw pebbles at her window
When she starts swearing at you... tell her you love her.
Take her to shows of bands shes never heard of.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her piggy-back rides.
Go see her band play, even if they really suck, and tell her they were great.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when shes sick.
Make up pet names for her, but cool ones, not sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your cds.
Write on her.
WRITE ABOUT HER.
Make her mixtapes.
Write her letters.
Take her to cool shops, and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Just hang out with her.
Listen to all the bands she mentions.
Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When shes sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone with her, even if shes not saying anything.
Buy her ice cream.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her, even if the music is fast.
TELL HER A SECRET.
Kiss her in the rain...
JUST KISS HER.
TRUST HER.
LOVE HER.
BE YOURSELF AROUND HER.
CHERISH HER.
...and when you fall in love with her tell her.

so, ummmm......it was fun to chill with ryan when he was down, haha....that party was great!!! the best chick fight between some chick and stephine fares/ ashley huggins.....HAHA.......plus i saw mike mehenna, josh pacheco, tommy clemons, the usuall gang i hang with, and a some girls i went to school with, but were a lot younger than me (at least i thought they were). Drunk for the first time since UCLA.....thats always a plus . damn, it was so fun that i actually thought that i could get through school without anymore complaining, yet again i have been defeated by "the man". FUCK YOU "MAN"! anywho, lots of fun, look forward to end of school, look forward to summer, hope you enjoy reading this late update

p.s. haven't had any posts in a while cuz nothing very exciting is going on in my life, school and work, thats it.

p.s.s. if any of you hommies are gonna be in town on May 16 -17, im me, my buddy is having a "party"...talk to me later.....peace

war with iraq

I am sick and tired of the U.S. using the same excuses over and over again to get it's way and to go off on a tangent to superseed the rest of what the world wants or agrees with. This war with Iraq, what is it really about? my theory is that Bush is just trying to avenage what his dad fucked up. I hear bullshit about, "oh the Iraqies want to be freed, oh we need to disarm him, oh he's dangerous." While some of this might be true, i haven't heard or seen any Iraqies speak up and say, "yes i would like America to free me" and i believe that North Korea is more of a threat with their long range ballistic missles than Iraq. Who made America the world's police force?  Yes, war is inevitable, but at least we shouldn't be going off on a tangent, doing what we feel is right, cuz who makes us right? the president? colin powell? congress? the crazy guy down the street that just wants something to blow up becuz he thinks its patriotic? I mean what the fuck, who the fuck are we to tell the UN to screw off? the UN is there for a reason, and how do we contribute to them if we aren't even gonna take into consideration their views and opinions? Those that commit the men and women of the military to fight should fight themselves! Most of the politicans now-a-days don't know what battle is, most have never been in combat and most wouldn't want their sons, daughters, nieces or nephews to possibly go into combat and die either, so why send those that you don't know if you yourself are not willing to risk your kin for a "greater good?"

People say that this is a preemitve strike, we are striking now, before we are struck upon, but are we no better than Saddam for doing what he thinks is right? "the Second Vatican Council states that as long as the danger of war persists, if there is no international authority with the necessary competence and power, and all peace efforts have failed, nations have the right to defend themselves"

• "The only option (to secure peace) is the departure of the warmonger number one in the world, the failing President Bush who made his country a joke," - Naji Sabri, Iraq's Foreign Minister
• How can you say you say that you're proud to be American when the US apparently thinks it can supercede democracy?  Hypocrisy at its finest: Fighting for "democracy" while ignoring "the only bearer of international legitimacy, the United Nations"
• theciofster: i wanna see bush go to a war crimes tribunal in geneva
  theciofster: he could be milosevic's bitch
  theciofster: well, this week i'll be getting arrested at least
• "but beyond doubt it is greater felicity to have a good neighbor at peace, than to conquer a bad one by making war" city of God, IV, 15.
  

so its been a while since i wrote last.....thats cuz theres nothing to write about. going to school all day, everyday really sucks. i hate it. it was soooooo nice last week when i first, had a three day weekend, and then i extended it to 4 days cuz i stayed home sick one extra day.....hehe. oh well, all i have left is about 4 1/2 months....so hopefully all goes well (i pass all my tests and classes) and i'll be out aug 15.

so i went to a strip club this past weekend.....and i must say, it was quite interesting. well, to start out, the only reason i went was becuz i was bored off my ass, and i didn't wanna do homework. Now lets clarify this matter at once, it wasn't my idea, and it was a spur to the moment thing.

so anyways, before i knew it i walking inside a dark room, had my id checked, and there was a woman pole dancing for a buch of older gentlemen. my first reaction, kept inside of course, "HAHA." i thought it was soooo funny to see that, it took me back to elementary school days and watching porn over at eddy's house, HAHA. So anyways, to get a feel for the place, this being my first time and all, me and my friend played a game of pool. he explained some proper etiquette, why tipping is good and some other stuff i don't remember.

so we go and take a seat, and natuallry, out eyes shift toward the naked female dancing on the stage......not much came to me at that second except, hey that girls naked and shes getting paid, and tipped, for it. then the announcer comes on, and immediatly i am taken back to the days of skate nights and wanting to hold the hand of the girl you liked and skate with her. MAN, I SWEAR THAT IT WAS THE SAME GUY!!!!!!!! anyways, after a breif nostaligic experience, the girl is completely naked and danceing on stage. it was a site! So she walks off stage collecting all her tips and clothing item (there wasn't much to begin with) and she walks off-stage, completely nude! i sat there for a while and was like, "is she allowed to do that?!" i was completely taken off guard, and you may laugh, but it was quite confusing.

so as the night went on, i got to thinking, while looking around. "Man im a pervert, lokk at that guy over there (a fat ass dude that looks like he was married), damn he looks sooo perverted. and look at that guy over at the bar (a sad,lonley looking fellow, who's only pleasure came from naked chicks he can't do anything with sticking their tits in his face), gross." so needless to say, i was feeling pretty akward at this time, especially becuz my friend had left to go get his second dance with the stripper of his choice.

as the night wound down however, and right as we were about to leave, i saw this hot blonde stripper and my friend encouraged me extensively to go and get a lap dance. AND I DID. it was pretty cool, espercially cuz she was really hot, all the others were pretty medicore. so i went and i had a "dance" as they refer to them as, and i would have to say that it was worth the money i paid for it...hehe

so overall, i think that a field trip to a strip club should be something that everyone does, just so that you can always have something to look back on and say, "wow, that was kinda weird, but i had fun and it was really funny." HAHA - cheezey